Decades ago, a fire trapped and killed 32 people on the second floor of a building. They were victims of arson. Almost none of them were claimed or identified and the murders/crime was soon forgotten. Most of the bodies were buried without knowing who they were. Why? Because almost every one of them were a part of the gay community.
Facts are facts and history is history. A pedophile, a homosexual, a womanizer, an abusive drunk, a prostitute, a mafia enforcer, a serial killer, or anything that might be an embarrassment to the family should not be overlooked just because you disagree with them. It is what it is.
Do I have strong, personal feelings against criminals or those who live a lifestyle I morally believe is wrong? Sure I do. Have I known people who were like that? Yes! Did I over look them in the family tree or not be friends with them? Absolutely not. If I were not able to be friendly with them, it is because they were so obnoxiously offensive that I couldn’t be. But how to handle some of these things when it comes to family history? That is another matter.
Here is question: does it really matter if you find out that your ancestors 150 years ago owned slaves? Not really. Sure, it might be surprising but does it really have any bearing on your daily life? Not unless they were millionaires and locked up their fortune for 5 generations, of which you’re a part of.
What if one of your living uncles molested his niece 50 years ago? What if you were the one that was molested? What if your one cousin couldn’t bring home any of her boyfriends during high school because her mother would seduce them? What if your second great grandfather’s first cousin had an affair that produced a child? What if your father was abusive just because he was mean tempered? What about the felonies? Murderers? Suicides? Alcoholics? What if your cousins are homosexual and you believe it is morally wrong? What if you’re the one that is homosexual? What if someone married a person from another race and/or country? What if someone married a person from another religious denomination?
The main question being asked here across the board is what to do with this information when learned or it is something you have personal knowledge of. Can or should you be biased against any of these things? Consider your own life. How many mistakes have you made or things you’ve done that were embarrassing that you don’t want shared? I’m not saying each time you got a speeding ticket is important, but what if you were witness to a murder, crime, or suicide? What if you went to jail for protesting something in the 1960’s? What if you were a drunk, beat your kids, and then became a Christian thus changing your entire life? What if you had an abortion or a miscarriage?
My dad told me once upon a time that there are things he’s done that are none of my business. I agree. There are things that I’ve done that are none of his business. (Knowing my dad, I’m sure it was nothing exciting or impressive. Mother confirms this. Me, on the other hand, its best that I admit to nothing.)
If you’re willing to share the dark secrets of others, you should be prepared to share your own dark secrets too. Ultimately, what you decide to do with that information is up to you. Just remember to keep it fair.
